10 TIPS ON HOW TO BE THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR ON CAMPUS!

I have heard of many varsity dudes blaming their single relationship status on the high standards campus girls set for potential dates. The following are 10 tips on how to become the most eligible bachelor on campus.
 

8 SIGNS SHE IS USING YOU (campus girls)

The campus girls have tremendously upped their game when it comes to using men for their own selfish needs. Guys, the following are 8 crucial signs that your crush is using you based on the role you play in her life.

8 tips on choosing the perfect gift for a woman

The biggest source of headache to any hitched man is choosing the perfect gift for his woman whether it’s on St Valentine, anniversary or her birthday. The following are 8 tips on choosing the perfect gift for the lady you love most based on her personality.

1)    Diva

A diva is the female version of a hustler. She has a high opinion about herself, expensive tastes, overly dramatic, temperamental and often rude. She is very particular about the class of people she associates with, malls she shops and restaurants she dines. Since she has unrealistic expectations she tends to compares the cost of the gift to your love for her. If your lady is a diva, get her a rare gemstone, a sleek ride, latest high-tech gadget or an off-the-runway dress. Be warned, you need to spend a fortune in order to please a woman with diva personality.

TERRORISTS CANNOT KILL THE KENYAN SPIRIT!

a police man rescuing a baby 

On 21^st September 2013 as Kenyans prepared to go for the Safaricom 7s rugby tournament in support of the national team Shujaa, a group of terrorists armed with assorted weapons and explosives attacked the Westgate shopping mall in Westlands, Nairobi.  Survivors recount horrifying tales of how six terrorists walked into the main entrance, hurled a grenade and shot indiscriminately at the shoppers.

 It is saddening how they have killed 62 innocent people including children and seriously injured over 175 others. The survivors identified the attackers to be of Somali origin. They displayed a placard written in Arabic, anyone who could not read the statement was shot. They are said to have claimed to be on a revenge mission before opening fire. 24 hours after they attacked they are still holding hostages in some parts of the mall. The security forces have secured most of the floors and are currently working on flushing them out in the last sections and rescue the hostages. The alshabab terror group has claimed responsibility of the Westgate mall attack.

5 REASONS TO WHY I’M NOT HAPPY GOING BACK TO K.U

Main Gate

Make no mistake, I am proud to be a student of Kenyatta University. It is a great institution run by visionary administration. In 25 years, K.U has transformed from just training teachers to encompass other academic disciplines. . Adopting novelty K.U has become a trendsetter in Africa with world-class facilities only rivaled by ivy league universities. 

 In just three years, I have seen the completion of the ultra modern library, hospitality building, amphitheater, school of engineering and commissioning of the Ksh 9 Billion referral hospital. This has all been done under the leadership of the current Vice Chancellor Prof Olive Mugenda. In spite of being such a prestigious university, the following issues taint our otherwise splendid image. 
 

AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL YOUNG WOMEN

 In the wee hours of the Idd-ul-fittri  my sleep was suddenly cut short by a loud thud in the backyard. My siblings and I rush to check out what was amiss. On top of the mabati roof on our neighbour’s house laid a bundle wrapped in an old shawl. Peering closer we found what we least expected. Covered in amniotic fluids lay a premature baby girl and a fresh umbilical cord still attached. She had just been delivered. Next to her lay a placenta, her only connection to her unknown mother.  My mother a medical practitioner, immediately picked the baby and delivered fast aid checking for injuries. Luckily, she was hardly hurt.  Investigating further, we realized that the baby had been dumped from the fourth floor of a nearby flat.

TOP 10 MOST ATTRACTIVE TRAITS IN A LADY

tulips

One of my boy’s is turning a year older today. The whole pack gathers at our favorite hangout joint in town to deliberate on how make the night memorable. The course of our conversation shifts to the traits one looks for in a girl before getting into a relationship. We all had varied opinions on this subject. The following is a list of the top 10 things we all found to be most eye-catching.

1)    Independency

A girl who is emotionally stable, has an opinion and is financially independent happened to be the most eligible spinster. She should have her own life; a career, friends and interests. Getting stuck to a clingy person can be really draining. The lass should let her guy spend quality time with his associates, pursue his interests and not tag her wherever he goes.

Since we live in tough economic times a lady shouldn’t off load all her financial obligations to the dude. The guy does not always have to be the one who pays the bills or buys gifts, she too should be able to pick the tab sometimes and also give presents. A girl who has her own view towards life, different tastes and diverse interests is fun to be with. Don’t make it your life’s mission to espouse all your guy’s interests, likes and dislikes; it’s repugnant. Be independent!

A FRIDAY IN NAIROBI!

a view of nairobi at night

There is something different about Friday. Its divine, mystic, tangible, you can almost feel it. The atmosphere feels different even during this cold season .Friday mornings are warm unlike the other days. Welcome to Nairobi, the city in the sun, capital to the fastest growing economy in eastern and central Africa. It is the only city in the world with a national park at a walking distance. Home to marathon champions, Nobel Prize winners and even has a street known as river road where anything under the sun is possible!

Monday and other weekdays are characterized by impatient motorists, worried faces, jostling crowds, mad rush and glaring stares that give you the impression of a disillusioned city. However Fridays are different, people are so friendly, relaxed, jovial and talkative bordering rowdy. Even the notorious matatu drivers give way on this great day; motorists are not in a hurry to get to their destinations.

THE LIFE OF AN INTERN ENGINEER

site meeting

It’s been quite long since I last post a new blog as things have been pretty tight. A few weeks ago, I was accepted as an intern in a housing corporation. At first it was quite difficult adapting from being a college student to an intern engineer in a government parastatal. Unlike college where I would choose which classes to attend and even go an hour late here all workers are required to report at their workstations by 7:45am. This is by no means an easy task considering the massive traffic congestion that characterise major highways into the city in the morning. I’m still struggling not doze off in the afternoons after waking up at 5:30am every morning in order to catch my train to the capital. 

Another major headache is the strict dress code all workers are required to observe. For a guy who is used to clad in a t-shirt, shorts and moccasins it feels really weird being in a suit and tie. Since I didn’t own even a single suit I was forced to enlist the help of my old man in picking some. You wouldn’t believe how much I look forward to weekends when I can put on jeans!

SWAGGER EVOLUTION!

NMK

The heavy downpour and power outrages characterize the day dampening the mood. I’m told that Kenya Power Company has been transferred from the Ministry of Energy to sports prompting the personnel to play with the switchboards bringing about frequent power black outs. It is 10th of May my birthday but unlike the previous ones, it is quiet and less pompous.


 My two noisy brothers are away in boarding schools, dotting mother on a flight halfway across the globe and my closest friends not around so I am stuck at home with my old man. You can imagine our conversations; business, career and technology nothing sissy like birthdays. Since cooking seems like rocket science and being in the kitchen makes me feel like manoeuvring through a minefield, I’m certain there won’t be any party. Turning 22 years of age, it has been a long, treacherous journey trying to discovery self, abilities and purpose in life.


 Being the first-born has its perquisites and even more pitfalls. Since I did not have a bigger brother to learn from about swag, fashion and sexual matters mom took up the responsibility. When I turned 13 she taught me how to use condoms and played the role of my fashion consultant. I was dressed in suits and baggy clothes. I am inclined to believe they were deliberately oversized so that I would not outgrow them fast. Funny enough the pants do not fit me to this date!


After high school, as my peers were hanging out and having fun I was tasked to manage the family business. Every evening I would frequent a particular pub and meet a couple of older business men. That’s where I learnt the art of making deals, seizing opportunities, complexity of marriages and how to be a responsible man. I hardly spent time with other young people talking of latest celebrity gossip. Every minute awake was spent working.


One Friday evening I went to a rugby tournament to meet Esther*(not her real name). I was shocked to find out that I was the only dude in a suit. All the other guys were casually dressed. She came to say ‘hi’, we hugged then she disappeared into the crowd never to return. Tried her cell phone but all I got was some recorded message ‘samahani , mteja wa nambari unayopiga...’ You can imagine how I felt especially since we had planned to spend the whole night together!


On a different occasion, I went to a date with Janet* in a baggy jean, oversize shirt and some hideous open-scandals. Well you cannot blame a guy who hangs out mostly with old men, out of touch with fashion trends, trying to pull off a casual look. I think I saw her sneer on my back. After the date we went to a shopping mall. Dude, they must have owned every pricey item on display. “this is exactly what my dressing table looks like…that’s my mom’s perfume…that’s how big our TV is…that’s the car my dad drives…my ex-B.F bought me this on valentine…we went to Seychelles last vacation” she ranted hours on end.


I meet so many guys on campus with low levels of confidence believing since they are less attractive, poorer and unexposed hence lesser beings. I even know of a guy who thinks he isn’t good enough to have a girlfriend! They look up upon guys like me who own a few fancy gadgets, designer garments, living on the fast lane and a little ‘swagged out’ thinking we are better off. Contrary to the popular belief one is not born a high-flier. It is a trait one acquires once they accept their weaknesses, maximize on strengths and stop at nothing to get what they want. Swagger is not pegged on ones social standing it’s determined by the individual’s mentality.


On the path of self-discovery, I had my share of ass-kissing, jilted, friend zoned (worst thing that could ever happen to any dude) and a shot at male chivalry; chocolate bars and roses. I made so many mistakes and had even more embarrassing moments but that never killed my spirit. If anything it made me a better person. My confidence has increased exponentially and so did my swag. I turned from being a social disaster to a slick dude. You too can transform.


That said I would like to urge our sisters not to look down upon young males with poor sense of fashion as they may still be on the path of self-discovery. And for the two ladies I put off with my dressing if reading this, please contact me so we can hook up and see how much I’ve improved since we last met!

mark maina

By Mark Maina

THE CHARMER!

maish, festo & jose

Ladies are great suckers for love. They have such long lists on the traits of the kind of guy they would like to marry, Mr Right. I’m told most started planning about their dream weddings to the last detail since they were kids. Massive infiltration of Mexican soaps into our local TV stations is worsening the situation as these fictional characters become the standard against which we men are gauged. True to Darwin’s theory of evolution, only the fittest of the species survive and mate. To counter this madness a new breed of men has cropped up known as the Charmers.

 Charmers are guys who have perfected the art of ensnaring women with their charming personality, gaining their trust and love in record time. Dating one is so exciting, as they bring out the crazy edge in you, make you do exhilarating stuff you never imagined, make you forget all your principles and suddenly all you want is to live on the fast lane. To them dating is more of a sport, some do it for financial benefits and some just for fun. I guess you are now wondering if your new boyfriend is a charmer, right? Since I am not a shrink, we’ll skip the psychology behind the rationale and go straight to their characters.

The infamous valentine!

It is again a few days to the most dreaded day in the calendar of guys. The 14^th February, Valentine a day in honor of some long gone saint and an imaginary flying kid dressed in pampers carrying a bow and arrow. Just a mentioned of this day gives every dude creeps. The female human species have such high expectations that are almost impossible to meet. We the guys are under duress to pull a rabbit out of the magician’s hat; a pleasant surprise that the girlfriend can re-tell to her friends for the next 364 days. I blame this on the mainstream media, social platforms and unscrupulous entrepreneurs who poison the thinking of our women and hold us by the barrel to buy expensive gifts, go to exotic places and enrich them.

Are we losing humanity?

hungry residents of turukana,kenya

I saw two teens lying next to a burst sewer. The ground was damp, plastic bags littered all over and a bad odor emanated from the raw sewage. I wondered how the two end up sleeping there. How come the bad smell didn’t deprive them of the much needed sleep? Did they have a home? People who cared? What happens when it rains and everybody else retreats to their cozy homes? What happens when they get sick? Do they attend school? Why do some people have plenty and others nothing? Is it we who choose the conditions of our lives or nature does that for us? What steps can they take to change their lives for better?